Since I can’t totally tell what my personal opinion is, it seems three out of five stars is the fairest sticker to slap on the review score.

“Two Heads Creek” gets its personality from a cast of likable and unlikable weirdos describable with words like eccentric, quirky, and kooky.

Zombie fans have about as much use for a story this shallow as they do for a bottle opener when the cooler only contains cans.

“You Should Have Left” builds a movie the same way Ikea builds furniture: assembling as few simple pieces as possible according to a one-page black-and-white diagram.

Not surrendering to the persistence of its choppy charm seems to say more about one’s own stubbornness than the movie’s trouble at getting a grump to chuckle.

The film burns a hot brand with witty writing and gonzo gore whose fun-filled attitudes easily overshadow pesky technical shortcomings.

“Warning: Do Not Play” is such a straightforwardly streamlined little haunter, it doesn’t leave a lot to really dig into with detailed discussion.

Bundled with the redundant beats of Wade and Lisa’s meager “adventure,” the film tires out its audience like we’re the ones suffering in the sun.

The film plays like a “Law and Order: Criminal Intent” two-parter or similarly pedestrian police procedural that’s been tamed down to fit small screen standards.

Rather than resulting in David Lynchian disorientation, “Dreamland’s” jargon juggles a bunch of jumbled pieces that make a mess more than they ever mesh.

“Becky” becomes a twisted take on “Home Alone,” if Kevin’s kooky traps resulted in brutal bloodbaths and torn body parts.

People like labeling anthologies as “mixed bags,” but the treats in this one are all coated with the same plain milk chocolate.

“The Soul Collector” doesn’t have enough heat in its beat to breathe pulsating life into its spectacular but static shell.

In the event I am responsible, even partly or incidentally, I apologize for any role I may have had in “Ouija Shark’s” birth.

The movie’s unique backdrop combines with eye-catching slices of splatter to produce an intriguing standout in undead entertainment.

“Apokolips War” isn’t much of a ‘Justice League Dark’ story at all, but rather a “dark” Justice League movie appropriating the JLD moniker.

“Body Cam” isn’t just the routine police procedural I feared it would be. It’s a routine supernatural spookshow too.

It’s a movie loaded with hijinks, heroics, humor, and a little horror that can etch ear-to-ear smiles on Scooby fans of all ages.

For tolerant types curious to taste what some unknown filmmakers are up to in the micro-indie horror space, “The Source of Shadows” provides intriguing content to chew on.

Rod Serling would appreciate “The Vast of Night’s” suspenseful smolder dripping down an Americana backdrop. More than likely, you’ll enjoy it too.