DON'T KILL IT (2016)

Studio:       Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
Director:    Mike Mendez
Writer:       Dan Berk, Robert Olsen
Producer:  Robert Yocum, Scott Martin, Michael Thomas Slifkin, Jeff Spilman
Stars:     Dolph Lundgren, Kristina Klebe, Tony Bentley, James Chalke, Miles Doleac

Review Score:

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Summary:

An FBI agent reluctantly partners with a mysterious man to take down a demon when her Mississippi hometown is overrun by murder.

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Synopsis:     Show/Hide Spoilers

Outside of Chicory Creek in Mississippi, Gabriel’s dog Titus finds a small gold urn while hunting in the woods. Titus suddenly attacks and Gabriel is forced to kill his dog.

His eyes turned black, Gabriel returns home possessed and murders his wife and son. He then goes across the street and kills several neighbors until he is murdered by Marcus. Marcus then becomes possessed and kills the rest of his family.

After an altercation with a man named Frank in a roadhouse bar, demon hunter Jebediah Woodley goes home with Amber, who turns out to be a prostitute.

Now an FBI agent, Evelyn Pierce returns to her hometown of Chicory Creek to investigate the murders. Jebediah interrupts while Evelyn discusses the case with local sheriff Chief Marty Dunham. His claims of a body-hopping demon that possesses anyone who kills its previous host too wild to believe, Evelyn and Dunham have deputy Otis Willard lock Jebediah in a cell.

Evelyn begins suspecting Jebediah is telling the truth when she visits the lone survivor of one of the massacres and the witness corroborates Jebediah’s claims of black eyes as she recalls how her husband became possessed and killed their son. Evelyn returns to the sheriff and they talk to Jebediah to learn more.

Jebediah again warns that anyone who kills the person hosting the demon will in turn become the next person possessed and be driven to commit multiple bloodthirsty murders. Also, the demon can only be contained but never killed. Jebediah explains that his father was also a demon hunter. This demon’s essence was originally captured when Jebediah’s father drank poison to commit suicide before allowing himself to be possessed. However, Jebediah lost the small container containing the demon when a plane crashed near Chicory Creek.

Jebediah and Evelyn go to find Jeremy Bruckner, the man believed to have killed the last person possessed. However, they learn that a different man, Glen Prichard, actually delivered the fatal final shot.

Jebediah and Evelyn become stranded near a forest when Jebediah’s engine overheats. Prichard attacks Evelyn, but surprisingly does not try to kill her. Prichard flees when Jebediah fires on him with rubber bullets.

Stopped at a motel together, Jebediah notices odd scars on Evelyn’s shoulder blades. When Evelyn later tells him a personal story about her family, Jebediah concludes that Evelyn is descended from angels. Jebediah tells Evelyn that the demon wants her to kill it so that it can possess an angel, and therefore be able to summon multiple demons into the world.

Chicory Creek assembles for a town meeting to discuss the murders and to warn everyone about not killing the demon. Prichard arrives and bars the door, inciting mass panic when he begins killing everyone inside. Otis kills Prichard and becomes the next person possessed. The chain of murder and possession continues until an old woman becomes the demon and escapes out a window.

A van runs over the woman and its driver becomes possessed. A man on a motorcycle kills the van driver. Unable to keep up with the constant changes in possession, Jebediah sees the motorcyclist ride away. Jebediah, Evelyn, and Dunham then survey the carnage left behind at the town hall.

The motorcyclist attacks two young sisters alone in a cabin. One of the little girls kills him.

Jebediah goes to the local church where Pastor Erikson preaches to his congregation that Evelyn is to blame for the evil going on in Chicory Creek. Jebediah quiets the priest by shooting a rubber bullet into his stomach when he begins berating Jebediah.

Evelyn regroups with Jebediah outside the church. Emmett arrives looking for the pastor. Jebediah stops him and Emmett explains that his daughter is possessed and he needs help with what to do now that she is trapped in his basement.

At Emmett’s place, Jebediah convinces Emmett to take poison and then kill his own daughter in order to end her suffering and trap the demon. Emmett reluctantly agrees and takes the poison.

Before Emmett can open the door to kill his daughter, an FBI team led by Evelyn’s superior Deacon Shepard storms in and interrupts. Emmett dies from the poison. Emmett’s daughter breaks free and begins killing agents. Deacon, Jebediah, and Evelyn escape. However, the FBI agent now hosting the demon begins bleeding out from a bullet wound he received from Deacon.

Deacon becomes the demon and knocks out Jebediah. Evelyn threatens to kill herself so that the demon cannot possess her. Jebediah recovers and captures Deacon with his net gun.

With Deacon captive, Jebediah prepares poison with the intention of killing himself to capture the demon. Mistakenly thinking they are helping by stopping Jebediah and Evelyn, Pastor Erikson and several armed parishioners interrupt and free Deacon.

Deacon kills several parishioners. Pastor Erikson becomes the demon. The pastor is about to kill Jebediah when Evelyn dons a grenade vest worn by one of the pastor’s vigilantes. Jebediah pleads with Evelyn not to kill it, but she shoots the pastor. However, as the demon possesses her, Evelyn’s hand reveals a pulled grenade pin. The vest explodes, killing Evelyn.

Jebediah collects the demon essence in his alcohol flask. He then takes a boat out into the Gulf of Mexico and drops it in deep water. Unknowingly, a passing shark swims by and opens its mouth to swallow the flask.

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Review:

Walking tall demon hunter Jebediah Woodley is the kind of confident man’s man unafraid to defiantly prop his boots on a sheriff’s desk, stomp them into a misogynist man-pig’s throat, or keep them on his feet when he beds a roadhouse barfly.  Enjoyably embodied with smarmy charm by Dolph Lundgren, think of Jebediah as Clint Eastwood’s Man with No Name if he had a smirk, a sense of humor, and lived out of his car like some common drifter.

Jebediah just arrived in the backwoods burg of Chicory Creek, Mississippi.  Also in town is FBI agent Evelyn Pierce, a local native made good who is back to investigate three recent triple homicides, hopefully with some help from small town lawman Chief Dunham and his dim deputy Otis.

What Jebediah already knows and everyone else is soon to find out is that Chicory Creek has a demon on its hands.  Not one of the winged, horned, fanged, or red-skinned varieties.  This demon is a spirit that possesses its host to brutally butcher every human within sight.  The catch is, anyone who kills the person possessed becomes the next unlucky someone to carry on the curse.

Things are going to get much, much worse before they can get any better.  It’s bedlam on one street and a massacre on the next as this demon rips through the population while whittling it down to near nothing.  And when it comes across Evelyn, the demon sees a new way to bring mayhem to the masses.  Chicory Creek, and Evelyn in particular, is going to need every ounce of Jebediah’s knowledge, as well as his net gun, if they are going to have any chance at surviving what comes next.

Even if you’re unfamiliar with director Mike Mendez, knowing that his body of work includes titles like “Bimbo Movie Bash,” “Big Ass Spider,” and “Lavalantula” should be indicator enough of the cinematic style in play here.  “Don’t Kill It” is partially what a Troma film might be like if Lloyd Kaufman allowed camp to come naturally and didn’t invest every chit to intentionally represent his movies like live-action cartoons.  Mendez and “Don’t Kill It” at least think enough of their kooky quirks to be restrained through modest mainstream appeal for a movie that can play well to the right kind of crowd.

If you’re interested in understanding the mechanics of how a demon can magically possess anyone who kills it, no matter the murder method, distance, or other details, you’re barking up the wrong tree.  This horror story doesn’t hold up to any sensible scrutiny.

A subplot with a pastor is like a pesky fly that more important scenes keep swatting away.  Most moments relating to an early bar rendezvous could be similarly snipped and the core of Jebediah’s character would still come out intact.  Other asides also interrupt the main arc more than they enhance it, not the least of which is the “will they or won’t they, but they probably will” romantic tension between Evelyn and Jebediah.

With 12 days in preproduction and another 17 spent with the camera, “Don’t Kill It” went from finished script to fully shot in about one month.  Whether because of that fact or in spite of it, the movie emerges as Mendez’ most watchable effort to date.  Nevertheless, some run and gun shooting and a few choppy effects show signs of a time crunch cutting corners here and there.

Many of the kills are spectacularly splatter-filled affairs, though some are more silly than scary.  Wisely, the camera usually cuts quickly and moves right to the next bursting skull so there isn’t a window to react to how cheaply, particularly in CGI-enhanced shots, the movie fakes much of its murder.

The concept is a smart one for an indie budget looking to create a supernatural killer that doesn’t require labored makeup or intricate effects beyond black eyes, blood, and a banshee howl added in post.  Still, the scope seems a little thin since there isn’t a memorable monster or even a truly knockout setpiece to create a supremely awestruck moment.  It’s a lot of human on human violence, which is satisfactory if that’s all anyone anticipates.

I can’t envision a compelling urge coming up where “Don’t Kill It” would top a list of preferred choices to spontaneously pop into a disc player.  As an “it’s already on TV anyway” alternative though, it fits for an “as long as you’re in the mood for it” movie.  That means having a predisposition to finding the fun in schlocky splatter.  Having a few PBRs and a couple of game friends on hand wouldn’t hurt to help with finding that fun in something so good-naturedly absurd.

Review Score:  65

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